Some people are blessed with the ability to stay the course. I am not one of those people. All the new, the shiny, the next big things; they pull at me constantly. I was born with a restless soul. It is a meme of my generation that we are never happy with the now and always want MORE. I have to say for me that is true! What is so bad about wanting more? I do not want to just have a corporate job or a family or travel, I wanted it all. This has now led me to realize the problem with wanting it all, very rarely do you truly get it all.
This had me feeling like I was spinning my wheels in quicksand, no matter what I did I was dropping the ball somewhere. I sat down and really really looked at myself. This was a difficult and drawn out conversation. I spent all of 2019 making changes within myself that have slowly began to come to the surface of my life.
The first step was actually looking at what I wanted with my life, what was the most important, or what was my “why”. This was actually a difficult question for me to truly answer, I do not feel like I have only one “why”. My family is the heart of most of my “whys”, but I do have personal goals that have been motivating me for years. I want to be successful in a way that equals freedom. Freedom to live the life I imagine, freedom from debt and creditors, freedom from an unfulfilling career. Now I know what I want most, the freedom to give myself PERMISSION to enjoy my life. Yes, I said permission. I have always been focused on the needs of the ones I love and the people I support and never fully developed my own dreams and talents. I also am not living the life I want, I am living the life I am supposed to at this stage in my life. I really do not like that! With realizing all of this I knew I needed a plan, I am someone who likes to plan everything out and it gives me great peace to have goals and steps in place to achieve those goals. If you are anything like me and you feel stuck, unfulfilled, or unhappy- join me on this journey of discovery of self, the discovery of purpose.
Over the next few posts I will discuss my personal journey up to this point and why I decided that I needed to start a blog and a little shop to feel that deep fulfillment.
I am so glad you are here with me, let’s do 2020 together!